Yesterday was a more melancholy day at camp for me. It was somewhat unexpected given the joy I have felt since embarking on my journey.
The weather was cold with a strong gusty wind blowing all day. Dank clouds rolled through the glade relentlessly and by late afternoon they opened up with a steady downpour that lasted most of the night. I wondered if the weather caused my mood or the mood my weather?
I spent most of the day in my tent, my home, trying to keep warm and reading. I think that sometimes I enjoy the melancholy feeling. After all in this universe of polarity it’s hard, perhaps even not meant to be, that we only feel one emotion.
This is natural I guess given that we live in a duality. We only know light because of the dark. We better appreciate love because of fear. So it is that joy becomes more intense, more appreciated because of melancholy. It’s about the flow of things I suppose. Given that we are electrical beings – a current or energy itself only flows when there is a disparity of charge between –ve & +ve polarity. So it is with emotions and the endocrine system in general. It requires flow to function properly.
I awoke this morning not really understanding this. It was damp and cold and the foggy haze of melancholia still clung to me as I rose. I stepped from my tent and washed my face, cleared the last of the fog from my mind and looked upon the day. The air was crisp and almost still. The escarpment directly in front of my tent was soaking up the first rays of the new day. Even though it would still be a good hour or so before those rays reached me I was awestruck by the beauty of it. My feelings were mirrored by the birds as soon myriads of them began singing and dancing upon the ground in front of my tent as joyfully they welcomed the brand new day. As I stood watching this with my hands on my heart the joy once again rose in me, like a snake climbing my spine, tingles filled me and I was forced to smile.
It was then that the knowing struck me. There will always be bad days, days when things don’t go as well as you may have hoped or expected. But as the dark helps us see the light, the bad days help us feel the joy. Everything is light, everything. So even in the dark of melancholia, we are really still in the light. And the light will always shine, bad days will always end, joy will always return.
As I have said many times, life is a sine wave. The challenge is acceptance and surrender, no matter which side of the slope you are on. All is light, all is love.
May it shine in you as it does in me, for we are one.
I am honoured that you have taken the time to read my words. Thank you.
Yours most humbly,